A Fringe Quickie (#51) with ‘Auld Lang Sing’

Questions answered by Simon Argyle.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Sending the cast out with flyers, smiles, and their charm – if that does not work, we use the William Wallace sword from the show. Our lovely Fiona is formidable at hunting down the stragglers from the herd and will be relentless in her pursuit of the ticket sales.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Being very Scottish, I would probably ignore the cocktails and go for an ale, locally brewed. If the bartender wants to bung a cherry and umbrella in it, that is fine.

Q3: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

Money that should have been spent sensibly has been put into the massive Fringe Fund. We begged, borrowed but not yet stolen to get the show ready for the Fringe. We did offer to sell our bodies, but the £10 it brought in was not worth it.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

The kilts and the sight of William Wallace and Mary Queen of Scots getting their bodies shortened considerably. They might remember the pretty ones and maybe the big tall bloke at the back that did not say much.