Questions answered by Brian Dykstra.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I thought I’d set myself on fire while juggling buckets of mercury and firing off reams of flyers with counterfeit U.S. 250 dollar bills attached that the punters can use to purchase tix. It’s self-defeating AND counter-productive…

Q2: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

There are tortilla chip billionaires, there just are. They have exotic tastes, in chips, in salsa, and in the kind of sorcery only someone with advanced degrees in English lit and metal shop can provide. I give them with what they “need.” They reciprocate. ’nuff said.

Q3: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

Like a guppy in a shark tank.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Talking an emotional cue-de-sac around the fruit flies of reason attracted to the illuminated lampposts of logic while dodging the voracious swooping bats of alternative definitions.

About the show

A Play on Words

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

Learn more

Learn even more

Questions answered by Kevin Quantum.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Instant hypnosis. They look into my eyes, they buy tickets. Pretty sure it’s agains an Edinburgh City Council bylaw, but it’s very hard to cite someone who’s a master of the mind.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

I’d make up a cocktail (your fav colour + your first pet’s name. It’s kinda like the porn name one but more family friendly. Just like my show.) then order it of the bartender with the certainty only a magician could – then wait to see what they bring me.

Q3: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

Multiple infringements. A secret love of star spangled banner, using magic for unspeakable nefarious reasons, and magical mistreatment, exploitation, or exposure of to non-magical people. (stolen from JK, soz)

Q4: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

Sorry gran. Look into my eyes….

About the show

Kevin Quantum: Invisible Force

Date(s): Previews week (Fri 31st July to Thurs 6th Aug) • Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

Learn more

Learn even more

Questions answered by Aditya Mayya.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’m posing as a recruiter on LinkedIn and tricking people that my show is actually a job fair. The flop sweat in the room will throw them off the scent that something is amiss for at least the first half hour.

Q2: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

Vodka. With a pair of blue-light glasses to protect from the harshness of iPhone camera lights that will inevitably be pointed at me after I have drank too much vodka.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

Listening to a playlist that alternates between gangster rap and The Smiths so as to maintain the exact level of edge and smarm necessary for a successful show. I’d imagine people’s reactions would be political.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Standing in the corner crafting the perfect anecdote for when someone happens to walk by, not realizing that everyone left an hour ago.

About the show

Aditya Mayya Pretends to Be Sad

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Pay what you can

Learn more

Learn even more

Questions answered by Dave Vaughan.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

We’re get people to sign our white shirts When flyering and after show), like back in school on the last day and then post on social media and we’ll also be giving away 90s sweets.

Q2: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

Being too stupid and thick and realizing being this thick is quite offensive, even to thick people.

Q3: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

I worked as PE teacher in a SEND school for 4 month where all the kids hate new people and especially new PE teachers who replaced their fav teacher in the whole school.

Q4: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

Hanging out with my mate Liam who im doing the show with and drinking lots and doing other comedy shows that are hopefully worse than ours. Ha.

About the show

Two Guys, One Gcse

Date(s): Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Pay what you can

Learn more

Learn even more

Questions answered by Karen Hall.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I plan to discreetly flyer bar patrons while drinking copious amounts of whisky. How discreet it stays after a few pours I cannot say.

Q2: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

I emptied my savings. Please buy some tickets and merch so I can pay rent, I live in Los Angeles where it’s also expensive.

Q3: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

See Q1: whisky. But also, I love antique shopping.

Q4: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

A 6 inch Subway veggie delight sandwich on whole grain with shredded cheddar (toasted) lettuce, spinach, tomato, cucumber, pickles, extra jalapeno and sweet corn because for some reason in the UK you have that available to put on sandwiches. And Southwest Chipotle sauce.

About the show

Delusions and Grandeur

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

Learn more

Learn even more

Questions answered by Michelle Cohn.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

The premise of the show is that I am the one normal-looking Hadid sister. That is obviously fictional, but if people actually believe that and, by extension, think that buying tickets to my show may include a Bella and Gigi Hadid spotting…well who am I to correct them?

Q2: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

The cease and desist order from the Hadid family will be swift and unrelenting and the threat of it hangs over my head every day I continue to perform this show.

Q3: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

Binging reality television shows while lying completely horizontally in bed and spilling tea on myself while I try to drink it because again, I am completely horizontal.

Q4: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

Hadid would be too self-conscious about being a diva to ask for anything super high maintenance but…maybe some granola bars? And tea with honey if that’s not too much? and maybe ok MAYBE lemon water if you insist but NO WORRIES if not.

About the show

Hadid

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

Learn more

Learn even more

Questions answered by Stephen Smith.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’ve spent six years memorising nearly 19,000 words of Edgar Allan Poe and will be performing 42 shows in 23 days. At this point, my entire marketing strategy is making prolonged eye contact with strangers and hoping for the best.

Q2: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

Mostly through touring. One Man Poe has somehow escaped the rehearsal room and now wanders the UK unsupervised. Barnstaple, Manchester, York, Watford, London… all roads eventually lead back to Edinburgh and financial ruin.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

I pace around muttering 19th-century Gothic literature to myself while repeatedly checking I’ve remembered all 19,000 words. A normal person would either call an ambulance or slowly back out of the room.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

As the man who convinced them that spending an hour in the company of murderers, madmen, mesmerists, and a talking raven was somehow a lovely evening out.

About the show

One Man Poe

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm) • Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

Learn more

Learn even more

Questions answered by Jessica Barton.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Handing out free mini Lynx Africa’s on the streets of Edinburgh.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

It would order all the boys to get down on the ground with their hands behind their head, and would order all the women to rob the boys’ wallets.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

I get down on my knees…look up…open my mouth…and I pray to the comedy Gods.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

Because I’ll still be there, demanding a shower, breakfast and a lift home.

About the show

Dirty Work

Date(s): Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug) • Limited run • Weekend(s)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

Learn more

Questions answered by David Colvin.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’ll invite every bagpiper or folk musician who’s been inspired by the music of Gordon Duncan to Parade down the Royal Mile at peak time, playing Gordon’s music while flyers rain down on the crowd from the RAF fly-by over head. It could happen!

Q2: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

I have a full yoga routine, which in a kilt can be a bit of an eyeful in you walk in at the wrong moment, or perhaps the right moment, either way, it’s not something you ever forget… much like my play!

Q3: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

My mum is a Church of Scotland minister so she’ll be appalled at the language, the bullying and endless drinking but she’ll love the rock band, the bagpipes and the references to Amadeus. Nothing will interrupt Dad’s snoozing!

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

They’ll believe that anyone from anywhere can change the world. They’ll be more aware of the talented folk around them who may need help. They’ll tell their friends about the Thunderstruck play. Their friends wont believe them. They’ll be changed.

About the show

Thunderstruck

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

Learn more

Learn even more