A Fringe Quickie (#549) with ‘HOMUNCULUS’

Questions answered by Tom Mallan.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

BRIDE OF HOMUNCULUS, Queen of the Mile, is a towering twerking behemoth of a honeypot, the sexiest handmade object visible from space, a never-fully-inflated bouncyhouse of desire. Let your gaze roam down her until making contact with her sherpa’s single googly eye. Take a flyer.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Your bitterest brew of red wine vinegar, a dash of spoiled milk, pickle brine & grain alcohol, thrice stirred in an anti-clockwise direction. A garnish of dead wasps from the windowsill, crowned with a googly-ear-wax finish, served up in a hexjar & don’t forget the tiny umbrella.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

After a round or two of zip-zap-zop, we like to bless each show by peering into each other’s eyes, crafting /then setting fire to effigies of our exes, & shrieking: ‘defiler of my heart, betrayer of my trust, from these burnt art supplies reshape them, and so awaken!’ (Confused?)

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

2PM. Awakened by the tempest, head pounding like it’s been concussed by a buttfugly clay bust. There’s someone in their bed:—a googly-eyed pom-pom pile of hotglueness. “Hey cutie,” it seems to bubble. ‘Shit’: pretty sure they shouldn’t have drunk that last bloodmoon potion.