A Fringe Quickie (#68) with ‘Sand’

Questions answered by Sean Kempton.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Ha, they are all desperate. Probably a daily sit-up challenge for anyone who wants. Our performers do a pretty intense warm-up, and this 20-minute set of sit-ups kills me every time. Look for us in some spare place @summerhall pre-show.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Order every option the bar has, shake them up, pour into a sweet-and-salty-rimmed glass, and add a plastic monkey. The result is a warm, smooth wrap-around beverage that leaves you crying, laughing, and hugging every stranger you can find. Please be advised to drink sensibly

Q3: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

Selling our tears to passersby, robbing our daughters College fund/and our daughter. Seriously, though, I go off and work as a clown for Cirque Du Soleil to cash fund it. No really. Also, some hustles just can’t be mentioned in print…

Q4: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

The Sand Extraction 3000™ — a walk-through booth that combines industrial brushes, compressed air, vibration plates, and existential regret. Designed for performers who discover, three days later, that sand has achieved residency in places previously thought inaccessible