A Fringe Quickie (#514) with ‘Slugs’

Questions answered by Tobias Graham.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Listen – nothing is set in stone – but I would like to be marched around the city in my undies like Cersei in Game of Thrones, except I’ll be covered in slime and slugs, whilst someone in a giant slug costume walks behind me, ringing a bell and shouting “SHAME”.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

My show is looking for a messy night: we’re starting with a filthy vodka martini. It’s crisp. It’s cold. There’re olives. My show is getting that drink down in three sips, four at a push, before ordering a second, then a third, and it’s off to some dancefloor with stinky men.

Q3: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

Lettuce. An endless supply of the stuff. Bags of it. Troves of it. As soon as one lettuce has been devoured, there best be another waiting to go. The slugs are working overtime, and we’ve got to make sure they’re looked after. We don’t need slug walk-outs or protests.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

My show is smoking a vogue cigarette out the window in the toilet, holding a warm, homemade negroni pre-mix, trauma dumping on some friends they made approximately ten minutes ago. The conversation pivots between hot takes on The Real Housewives, ex boyfriends and Gen Z.