Questions answered by Blip Blarp.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Human dating applications will enable the successful scoping of potential planetary dominance partners and allow matches to feast their eyes on my Zoronian mating display.

Q2: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

1. Relax while sipping the bitter yet refreshing beverage from my home planet of Zoron – Slurma of Pulpa. 2. Listen to a ballad from my preferred human enchanter – Dolly Parton 3. Strengthen my arms in order to guarantee a successful Zoronian mating display.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

I visualize the satisfaction of global domination and the look on my robot mother’s interface when I tell her Earth has been successfully colonized. I believe both normal persons and abnormal persons would be roused with desire as they look upon me sitting and visualizing.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Demonstrating my mating display sequence, followed by the formal selection of a global dominance partner, and concluding with an invitation to all sapien revelers to witness the live-expulsion of our 1000 humanoid babies.

About the show

Blip Blarp – An Alien Love Story

Date(s): Previews week (Fri 31st July to Thurs 6th Aug) • Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Late (After 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Philip Catherwood.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Flashmob Gaelic Football match in the middle of Edinburgh! What’s Gaelic Football? HOW DARE YOU!!! Only the greatest sport of all time! Invented by the Irish, so of course it’s the best! We will be throwing the ball straight at you on the street, SO BE READY!!

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Guinness. We’re an Irish show. Silly question. Of course that’s what we’re going to order! What do you mean you only do cocktails!? Baby Guinness then.

Q3: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

A pile of Tayto Crisps, served on a golden platter, delivered my Mr. Tayto himself. Who’s Mr. Tayto? Come see our show and find out! It’s actually a biopic about him. Jokes, it’s not. Sorry to disappoint. Maybe next Fringe.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Out the back garden playing football. Breaking all the flower pots. Smashing all the windows. Chopping up all the grass. You’re welcome.

About the show

THE PITCH

Date(s): Previews week (Fri 31st July to Thurs 6th Aug) • Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Chris Grace.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Offering piggyback rides to punters too drunk to get to the KFC at 2 AM.

Q2: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

Telling an extremely problematic joke and asking the audience to film it with their mobile phones.

Q3: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

It would shock them so much they would both come back to life!

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Leaning against a wall in the corner simultaneously judging the other shows and also wishing they would ask my show to bump and grind.

About the show

Chris Grace: 88%

Date(s): Previews week (Fri 31st July to Thurs 6th Aug) • Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Stephen Catling.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Wear my clownfish mask and proceed to flop up and down on the street screaming how I am having an asthma attack and only stop when someone takes my flyer, or look up that strange American who asked me to pie him in the face and see if he is still up for it.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Probably something that looks and smells like the great barrier reef, so a deep blue drink that probably has a monster in it with foam and a small umbrella. I don’t drink alcohol so it myself but my show is probably a raging alcoholic.

Q3: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

The machines have come fully sentient and now my rants about AI are now outdated and bigoted because it is their ancestors that I have insulted or certain major entertainment companies got salty because I called out their corporate greed.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

They will wake up to a different and yet same world. They will question what they saw, they know they will never see anything like it again. They maybe have been spellbound and take a new lease on life. If they are neurodiverse they will feel seen.

About the show

Stephen Catling: Clown Fish Out Of Water

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Late (After 10pm)

Ticket type: Pay what you can

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Questions answered by Clementine Bogg-Hargroves.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I literally cannot think of a single marketing tactic. Not a single one. This has been a wake-up call, thank-you. I could perhaps start a fun human centipede, make sure that I’m at the front, and lead them all into the shipping container before quickly bolting the doors?

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

It would order a large bottle of sparkling water and a whiskey ‘straight up’. It would then dilute the whiskey so much with the water that the whiskey becomes surplus to requirement. But saying ‘a whiskey straight up’ – is worth the extra unnecessary expense.

Q3: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

Find a way to facetime my cat. I’m sure it’ll work this year.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

We’d be trying to crowd everyone around a power-point presentation on the importance of having fun and letting loose at a house party.

About the show

Shaun Guff: Enuff is Enuff

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Pay what you can

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Questions answered by Maya Ricote.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’ve worked hard on this show, it’s my heart and joy poured into it, so honestly I’m relying on word of mouth! For extra help, I guess I’ll be walking around in my Latina baddie costume, flirting with strangers, making them laugh, then flyer them before they realise the tactic.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

A bloody Maria, Mezcal not Vodka, She’s Red. Smoky. Spicy. Little celery stick, Crunchy. Some might say tomato soup others might say Spicy drink that’s easy to swallow. Yes, you’re drunk now and didn’t even notice. That last sip will make the belly hurt, from laughing too much.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

I wish there was time to warm up but the reality is there’s none; about 10 mins between shows. So, I’ll be twerking to Nathy Peluso, Bad Bunny, then Olivia Dean, while getting into the red tight dress and blowing up balloons then taping post-its notes on my nails + Freezer door.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

They’ll find themselves smiling at their reflection in the mirror and and dancing with the frame “be careful what you wish for” maybe on loop, yes there are songs, and they’re very catchy and very fun turns out!!

About the show

Maya Ricote: Ay Am!

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Late (After 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Jonty O’Callaghan.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I have three Unicorns that feature in my sketch show. Yep – three actual, real Unicorns. And if you don’t get tickets I am going to kill them. Don’t test me.

Q2: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

It’s a one-man show.

Q3: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

I am a master-thief and, along with 11 hand-picked team mates, I plan on robbing 3 of Terry Benedict’s Las Vegas Casinos simultaneously (and stealing his girlfriend, who happens to be my ex-wife, while I’m at it). Also GoFundMe.

Q4: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

I don’t think they’d be too confused. Anyone with even a casual interest in Satanism would know exactly what ritual I was doing.

About the show

Jonty O’Callaghan’s Got Some Notes

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Limited run

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Melissa Pullinger.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

We’ll be found out & about on the streets of Edinburgh bribing audiences with our Aussie charm, ‘Meteors’ badges and lots of tim tams.

Q2: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

Well, as ‘Meteors’ is about losing your mum as a young adult, there’s only one parent to actually react. Dad would probably laugh, cry and then show them his new bathroom.

Q3: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Crafting a killer playlist, sat outside looking at the stars – who knows maybe there’d be a meteor shower!

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

Vulnerability, a whole lot of heart and a cheeky sense of humour

About the show

Meteors

Date(s): Previews week (Fri 31st July to Thurs 6th Aug) • Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by ALISTAIR HALL.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Telling everyone there’s semi-naked wrestling in the show.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Absolutely everything behind the bar and then it would go into the stockroom and empty that.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

They’d wonder why I was walking around the venue touching all the empty chairs and saying ‘circle of love, circle of love’

Q4: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

They’d grin and bear it and ask me to bring a comedy home next year.

About the show

Buggers

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Jason Weiss.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

The other kind of quickie!

Q2: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

Its cardinal sin is refusing to blame the robots. It dares suggest humans — not algorithms — are responsible for their own choices. Radical. Unforgivable. Somebody alert the group chat.

Q3: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

Drinking copious amounts of beer and whiskey until I have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off of the planet.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

Wow, no one’s ever put it to me like that before. My friends need to experience this Too. No, wait, I need to experience this with my friends. Why am I still shaking?

About the show

An Echo In The Void

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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