Questions answered by Maia Tassalini.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Every day after my show I will be standing outside the Pleasance Courtyard and, for the low low price of £100, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with your outfit.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

A Cosmo. Utterly 90’s, a total riot and exactly what a teenage girl would think of as glamorous.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

There’s a lot of walking at the fringe, so I have to wear what I call in London, my ‘tube shoes’ (flat pumps) to get to my show. As soon as I arrive at the venue, I take those off and slip on whatever silly little kitten heel I’ve decided on that day, I feel like a star.

Q4: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

A litre of pure-cut hospital-grade adoration.

About the show

I Was 22 and Stunning

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Justin Elizabeth Sayre.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’m planning on wearing a kaftan, a big hat, and carrying around a box of wine. I think I’ll make friends easily and if I don’t, I’ll be too drunk to care.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

A martini and an ashtray. That was almost the title.

Q3: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

I’m going to read Proust in an open field while listening to Bellini. Or I might just get fish and chips and talk shit. Both are good.

Q4: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

Ice cold Diet Pepsi, fake cigarettes, Sarah Vaughan playing on the speakers, a fresh silk kimono daily and a bunch of wigs. Not for the show, just for me.

About the show

Justin Elizabeth Sayre Is A 40-Year-Old Woman

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Noah Seltzer.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I plan on hiring skywriters to write “Here Comes Almost” in the sky above Old Town from 7 am to 8 am every morning. (the other hours have been booked out by Julia Masli).

Q2: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

Instead of paying rent for the past 3 months, I hid in the props room of Operation Mincemeat on Broadway disguised as a wig.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

I look into the mirror and quietly speak affirmations to myself in a truly terrible Scottish accent until I make myself laugh.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

They won’t remember if it really happened or if it was a fever dream sent from the collective unconscious that they will be unpacking with their Jungian psychotherapist for the next seven years.

About the show

Here Comes Almost

Date(s): Previews week (Fri 31st July to Thurs 6th Aug) • Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Mimi Collins.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Well, I get naked in the play. Fully naked. Everything comes off. And while the nudity itself is not a marketing tactic, telling people about it here certainly is.

Q2: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

Good Girl has committed the grievous sin of being a sexually liberated woman… by being sexually submissive. So there’s something for everyone to be mad about!

Q3: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

I did a fundraiser and got lucky with some people feeling really bad about what I went through. I considered selling my nudes. But at the end of the day, we don’t need to monetize all our hobbies. It’s okay to do things for the love of the game.

Q4: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

They’d think she’s a super cool, normal girl. Although that choker she’s wearing is an interesting piece of jewelry…

About the show

Good Girl

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug)

Time(s): Late (After 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Freddie Meredith.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Every show I’m going to refer to as “the last chance you have to see this show before it finishes and I die.”

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Probably a Guinness. It doesn’t know that that’s not a cocktail.

Q3: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

They’d be polite, supportive, and slightly relieved when it finally left.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

It would be having the time of its life and saying “This is the best night of my life”. Even if the party was ostensibly really bad and boring. Then it starts to give everyone nicknames then gets really emotional, and keeps saying ‘I needed this’.

About the show

Need A Light?

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Mari Moriarty.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I just went out there and performed sexual favours. 634 blowjobs in five days. I’m really quite tired…

Q2: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

I have no intention of getting a job until our gay brothers and sisters get their rights. Especially the women.

Q3: All shows will have their tough days. What sophisticated self-care strategies will you employ to survive?

I pray, meditate, and write a gratitude list daily. But when that fails, I pick a fight with my husband and judge people.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

We’re at the after afters, smoking on the balcony as the sun comes up. Talking about life. It all feels very deep. Everyone’s misty eyed. “I think this is the best night of my life ”. But really she just wants to get laid.

About the show

FEMPATH

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Shelby Bond.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

If you see me in the streets carrying a giant D20 and you roll a natural 20, you’ll get a free ticket to the show.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Drinks for the whole crew- Bloody Caesar, Corpse Reviver, Pink Lady Macbeth, Fireball, Zombie, and El Diablo!

Q3: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

The night was ruined when the D20 rolled a critical fail of “1.” It must be put in dice jail!

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

My show would fall in love with the wrong person, and my friend would cry out, “A plague on both your house parties!”

About the show

Dungeons and Shakespeare

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Dom McGovern.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’m going to put my show details on grindr in the hope that older, richer gay men pack out the audience, and also fund my entire run, if any are reading this: help meeee xx

Q2: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

Well my show would have to compete with me on that one but I think it would demand a large crucifix and some bodies of Christ. My show has the same rider as the Pope.

Q3: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Ket

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

Well, we’ll all be going home together after the show and staying in a big bed like the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate factory, so hopefully I’ll be fresh in their mind

About the show

Prize Hog

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Bellina Logan.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

A sweet young film director suggested I hire Maggie Smith and Shaft lookalikes to stage a lovers’ quarrel on the Royal Mile before making up with a passionate kiss. I gently suggested perhaps this wasn’t the best year for that particular piece of street theatre.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

A Hendrick’s martini, up, with a twist, three olives and only the lightest wash of vermouth, please. Don’t ruin it!

Q3: Cancel culture has finally come for your show. What sins has it committed?

Using an outdated word like “Mulatto”, apparently.

Q4: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

Phone sex with a menopausal clown. The funds just started to pour in.

About the show

Confessions of a Mulatto Love Child

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug)

Time(s): Morning (Before 12-noon)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by ALISTAIR HALL.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Telling everyone there’s semi-naked wrestling in the show.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Absolutely everything behind the bar and then it would go into the stockroom and empty that.

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

They’d wonder why I was walking around the venue touching all the empty chairs and saying ‘circle of love, circle of love’

Q4: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

They’d grin and bear it and ask me to bring a comedy home next year.

About the show

Buggers

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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