A Fringe Quickie (#61) with ‘Don Quixote (is a very big book)’

Questions answered by Dik Downey.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’ve roped in my stepdaughter to get out there and spread the word. If things get more desperate, I’ll be clomping through the Edinburgh streets dressed in a 17kg suit of armour, a helmet made from the lid of an old chicken feeder, a lance and a cantankerous puppet horse.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Well, I think in the spirit of the show and being at the Fringe for the first time, it would have to be a Rusty Nail – equal parts Scotch Whiskey and Drambuie. Failing that, I’d probably ask for “dos cervezas” in a pretty bad accent (even though I lived in Spain for 3 years).

Q3: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

A masseuse would be top of the list or if I’m going full diva two! And fluffy white bathrobes to swan about in, with even fluffier white towels for my luxury post-show bath. Hell, why not even chuck in a fluffy white dog too. Not in the bath, just to complete my diva look.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

If they’re my generation, they’ll be thinking “bet he wishes he could afford a massage after going through that”. Younger ones will start reviewing their life choices or they too might end up rolling around in a suit of armour in a sand pit at the Edinburgh Fringe age 63.