Questions answered by Tom O’Kelly (WIT? Theatre Company).

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’ve spoken with the team and I am absolutely prepared to start stripping in the streets of Edinburgh for ticket sales. Whether people find it titillating, disturbing, or totally pathetic, only time will tell. That said, a pity sale is a sale nonetheless.

Q2: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

As a cast we have a ritual of doing improvised stories before our performances and they inevitably always end up featuring someone/something getting covered in cream. Don’t ask. It gets really weird really fast.

Q3: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Massively oversharing with a stranger the most personal yet boring story ever. Also, looking around the host’s house wondering what item it could realistically steal.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

They will be consumed by an inner conflict of wondering whether they liked my performance or were just deeply uncomfortable.

About the show

Remember, Remember!

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Matty Hurst Productions Ltd.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

We’ll be to stopping people on the Royal Mile dressed as a giant penis, while handing out actual beans instead of flyers. Dignity’s gone. Standards – never had them. Whatever gets bums on seats at this point, we’re doing it.

Q2: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

No house to remortgage, no body worth selling. It’s feet pics, OnlyFans and 6 overdrafts! We’ll break even at some point… hopefully!

Q3: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

We all stand in a circle with one of the props [you know the one] and spin it around above our heads whilst chanting the lyrics to different songs.

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

The morning after is always a bit dodgy, isn’t it? Probably a slight headache, a familiar taste in their mouth, and re-written lyrics lodged in their brain forever.

About the show

Jack Off The Beanstalk

Date(s): Previews week (Fri 31st July to Thurs 6th Aug) • Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm) • Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Conor Dye.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

TikTok. Shameless, shameless TikToks. Or maybe letting people punch me in the face with a confirmed ticket? (Fits in with the theme of the show, I guess?)

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

A long island ice tea. But it would hide the drink and tell everyone it ordered a beer. Something bitter and tastes like piss. Like a Peroni … or a … I don’t know, I don’t drink beer. I like long island ice tea’s.

Q3: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

I committed the horrific sin of taking jobs purely for money. Producing consultancy, supporting on R&D’s, and even taken a part-time bar job on top of my full-time work. I am only one offer of a ‘outdoor advertising discount’ away from offering sex acts on my street corner.

Q4: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

Your parents would ask if the show could take off the balaclava it’s wearing. The show would say, “ha! … no”. After that everyone would be uncomfortable. But they would have good table manners and “please and thank you.” Your parents would be reluctant to invite them back.

About the show

TAP OUT! (Or I’ll hit you again)

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Becky Camilleri.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’ve heard rumblings of a large wishing bell being carried down Princes street for people to make their wishes on it, but I can neither confirm nor deny.

Q2: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

I mean this year I’ll be pumping breast milk and changing my breast pads before I go on stage so… there’s that

Q3: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

“Well, they’re certainly eccentric. Maybe they should speak to someone.”

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

Probably as pretty intense and emotionally unstable. Like, if they were a person they’d definitely be super hot and cold about taking you out in the first place, then love-bomb you, have an existential crisis, and cry after sex.

About the show

The Trials of Magnus Coffinkey

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Morning (Before 12-noon)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Alice Stanley Jr..

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’m struggling with this question. The show is a comedy, so I want to answer with a joke. But there’s kinda only one joke about how I would force audiences to see this show in particular… And I can’t decide if it’s funny. If you can’t decide either, this show is probably for you.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Shots.

Q3: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

The Second Best School Shooting would demand an artisanal pastry for every shooting that happened in the US that day. (So about 100 artisanal pastries per show.)

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

“…Did I really laugh during that?”

About the show

The Second Best School Shooting

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Sasha Gefen.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Of course, by standing in the street and shouting, “Please come! You’ll be amazed!” Since people tend to be slightly annoyed by that approach, we’ll probably stick to singing and dancing instead: a little preview of what’s to come.

Q2: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

Holding hands with eyes closed, breathing out to each other’s palms, imagining that we are one organism. No one is more important than the other. Lungs are as essential as heart or brain. This is how we perceive each other. Someone sees us – probably just freeze and watch.

Q3: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

Well, my grandma would probably say, “When I was 32, I was already the CEO of a big company. And you’re still doing… this?” Then she’d come to the show anyway and secretly enjoy it and be proud of me.

Q4: If all the shows running right now were at a massive Fringe house party, what is your show doing?

Standing on the table in the main room, singing and dancing. We want our music to play!

About the show

Pascol – Vocal Performance

Date(s): Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Cecilia Corrigan.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’ll be roaming Edinburgh as drag twink Jesus, hearing confessions, blessing the exquisitely meek, and dying as much as I can on my cross to get you to pay just a *little* more attention to me… ME! (resurrections TBD)

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

Look. We’re all different. So what if it’s almost entirely a glass of cocktail umbrellas? Are you just going to sit there judging me as I waggle my tongue through this sheaf of tropical paper parasols? I want the feel of a beach in my mouth, and I want that beach to be a forest!

Q3: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

“Aren’t you a little cutie gnashing your teeth over there like that! But why are you dressed up like a worm? I mean, we totally accept your life choice to be a worm! We’re very pro-worm in this house. Wormphobia is NOT OK.”

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

You tell me, Jess 😉

About the show

The Gay Divorce

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm) • Late (After 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Stephen Cole.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

Having a contest to see how fast I can sing my 30 second song about all the kosher food I ever ate. Trying to beat my record of 1 minute. The winner will get a container of hummus or babaganush.

Q2: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

Before every show I put my Lebanese Valley Girl hand puppet on my right arm and sing several duets with her to warm up my voice and my accent and of course my right hand. She always sings beautifully, but sometimes tells me I am singing sharp and that my hand is too cold!

Q3: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

My parents would be horrified at the true story of my crazy journeys to Dubai, Qatar, Bratislava to write a musical. They didn’t know I went to the Middle East. My mother would scream and say, “why didn’t you tell me? I would have asked you to bring me back some sand!”

Q4: How will the audience remember you the morning after?

As a hilarious New York Jew who told the most incredible story that every really happened to a musical theatre writer. Ever. They will regale their friends with the details, getting most of them wrong and re-tell my Borscht Belt jokes.

About the show

CAMELTON

Date(s): Previews week (Fri 31st July to Thurs 6th Aug) • Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Week 2 (Fri 14th to Thur 20th Aug) • Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Afternoon (Between 12-noon and 6pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Diego Beares.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

I’ll probably have four beers a day at the pub closest to Paradise in Augustines and talk about the show to anyone who crosses my path. Until I get thirstier, run out of money for more beers… or my body gives up. To be honest, I’m much more fun after a couple of beers.

Q2: If your show walked into a cocktail bar, what would it order?

It would order an Espinillar with Paso de los Toros. One of Uruguay’s most iconic 1970s drinks. Like the show, it tastes of memory, nostalgia and a future that never arrived.

Q3: The Fringe is horribly expensive. How are you financing this run? Did you remortgage your house, sell your granny, or start an illicit side hustle?

Let’s just say I’ve got myself into quite a mess. I really hope it works out. I’ve lit a candle and prayed to every saint I could think of. I don’t believe in God, but just in case… Long live theatre. Or maybe not?

Q4: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

We’re a very humble company. In fact, our venue doesn’t even have a dressing room. But if the show suddenly became a diva, it would insist on a daily serving of bread and butter pudding — Princess Diana’s favourite dessert.

About the show

Los años maravillosos:Archiva, Image and Collapse

Date(s): Final week(s) (Fri 21st to Mon 31st Aug)

Time(s): Evening (Between 6pm and 10pm)

Ticket type: Paid

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Questions answered by Margaux Poupard.

Q1: Aside from this Quickie, what is the most desperate marketing tactic you plan on using to get bums in seats this August? 280 chars

A meet and greet with the “real” “Jen Shah” and “Elizabeth Holmes”. And barking, lots and lots and lots and lots of barking.

Q2: We all have weird pre-performance rituals. What is yours, and how confused would a normal person be if they walked in on you doing it?

Some people play zip, zap, zop. Others repeat red leather, yellow leather to themselves. We put on Back That Azz Up and twerk.

Q3: If your show suddenly developed a massive ego and became the biggest diva in the 2026 Fringe, what absurd, hyper-specific item would be mandatory on its dressing room rider?

Jen would demand no eye contact between the hours of 08:05-15:18, and six personal assistants to do her bidding. Elizabeth would require unlimited green smoothies, and that MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This” play every time she entered a room.

Q4: If you brought this show home for the holidays, how would your parents react to them?

They’d be concerned that I’m on the precipice of being taken for financial ride. They’d ask me if I’ve signed any binding paperwork and discourage me from giving Jen and Liz the last four of my social security number. But by the end of the night, they’d be deeply charmed by them.

About the show

Holmes/Shah

Date(s): Week 1 (Fri 7th to Thurs 13th Aug) • Limited run

Time(s): Morning (Before 12-noon)

Ticket type: Paid

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