Law student. Data analyst. Cafe manager. Personal finance journalist. Only Fans model. Clown. Obnoxious prick.
So writes Jessica Aszkenasy the brain and performer behind Titclown which arrives at the Assembly this August…
These are all words I have used to describe myself at some point or another. I’m writing this ten days before the Edinburgh Fringe is due to commence. I still can’t quite believe that I’m taking up my debut hour, which basically consists of me prancing around with my tits out for 50 minutes in the name of “art”. Lol. How the fuck am I getting away with this.
This is obviously NOT where I started. I come from a line of very serious Jews with very serious jobs. Don’t get it twisted, I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. My single parent mum (cue the violins) aspired to be (and is) an artist before she had me at the age of 22. Then I came along and ruined all her plans #sorrynotsorry.
Money and being financially viable has always been the centre of my focus. Which is hilarious as “financially viable” and “clown” don’t exist in the same realm. After inheriting a fairly small sum of money, my mum decided to move us to a rickety farm house with no upstairs floor in the middle of France (she’s still there). I hated it, but it was probably the best thing she could’ve done for me. Growing up there meant that I had access to their university system and student funding (like actual grants, not loans you have to repay) and off I went to study law (which I mostly hated).
That’s why doing this on my own terms is so important to me. I’m in an incredibly fortunate position: I’ve been able to work to be able to put myself in a position where doing the Fringe is an option. If you have some sort of physical disability or dependents you need to show up for (which was my case about 10 years ago), being able to take a show to the Edinburgh Fringe is a luxury of stratospheric proportions.
So if I’m going to commit to doing this, I’m going to do it my way. And that means finding the funding to do so. Lots of creatives are faced with the question “how do I fund myself while I make work and await my big break?” (which may or may never happen). Crudely put, how the fuck do I make this financially viable long term?
OnlyFans is my answer. Obviously, it’s quite an extreme one. Being a sex worker isn’t for everyone (lol). There are risks involved. It gives me financial independence and the ability to make work on my own terms. Two of the most commercially successful artists I admire, Tracey Emin and Grayson Perry, never compromised their artistic output. The career path of being a multidisciplinary visual artist might be even less commercially viable than clown. Neither of them came from money, but they stuck to their guns and hustled to fuck.
Let me be clear, I’m not “resorting” to OnlyFans. There are many different things I could do to make money. Sex work is always seen as something you do as a hail mary because you’re out of options. I’m well educated and fluent in three languages. I have options. I’ve explored them all and came to the conclusion that this was the best one.
Even if I hadn’t gone to university, this is still the choice I would’ve made. I worked from the age of 16 to 28 on and off in hospitality in all different types of environments. Once I got spiked during my shift working in a bar in London. At another job, I irreparably displaced a rib carrying a beer keg which is still a pain in my arse. During my penultimate stint in hospitality I got Covid which eventually progressed into Long Covid. OF is one million times preferable to all of the above.
And now here I am. Tits in hand, ready to go. It’s been quite a long road to get here, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Having very real stakes in doing well rather than taking for granted that you’ll be in a position to do this year after year makes you more cut throat and critical of your own work. It makes you not want to do what everyone else is doing or pander to industry expectations. Reviewers, I would very much still like for you to give me five stars though. If you don’t, I’ll just find a way to blame it on misogyny xxx
Jessica Aszkenasy will be performing TITCLOWN at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival every night at 10.20pm in Assembly Roxy
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