A jukebox musical rises or falls on the quality of its soundtrack. The music’s fine, but the sound design isn’t.
📍Festival Theatre, Edinburgh
📅 Tue 20 to Sat 24 Sep
🕖 7:30pm
🕖 Running time (approx.): 2 hours 40 minutes (includes interval)
🗣️ Story: Jay Osmond
🎬 Director & Co-Writer: Shaun Kerrison
🎶 Musical Director & Co-Writer: Julian Bigg
🩰 Choreographer & Musical Staging: Bill Dreamer
🛠️ Set & Costume Designer: Lucy Osborne
🎂 Parental Discretion
🎭 Wheelchair Accessible Venue, Wheelchair Accessible Toilet, Audio Enhancement Assistance Dogs Welcome
Written by Jay Osmond, The Osmonds: A New Musical, is essentially a memoir of his time with America’s most wholesome family pop unit. He tells the story himself, a Greek chorus chaining together a series of dramatic vignettes, and concert performances via direct narration. Alex Lodge takes on this linchpin role with plenty of boyish charm, floppy hair, and all the hokey earnestness of the Simpson’s Troy McClure.
The narrative plays no tricks, a pretty straight account of the family/band’s beginnings in small-town Ogden, beginning with the four piece barbershop quartet consisting of Alan (Jamie Chatterton), Wayne (Danny Nattrass), Merrill (Ryan Anderson), and Jay. Aged 9, 7, 5, and 3 respectively, the tiny boyband were first spotted by Disney, before finding a semi-regular spot on crooner Andy William’s (Alex Cardall) weekly CBS television show. It’s not long before eternal heartthrob Donny (Joseph Peacok), country-aberration Marie (Georgia Lennon), and permanently ‘little’ Jimmy (Tristan Whincup), turn up to join the fun. They are played with suitably Mormon-ish innocence by a capable junior cast, overseen by military-minded dad George (Charlie Allen), and soothing mom Olive (Nicola Bryan).
From there the only way is up as hit follows hit, from ‘One Bad Apple’ through to ‘Love me for a Reason’, with stop-offs for solo glory for Donny, ‘Puppy Love’, and Marie, ‘Paper Roses. In fact there’s almost no narrative tension whatsoever till deep into the second act when an over-leveraged family are forced into bankruptcy through some very poor financial management. The result is so hugely imbalanced that the very temporary acrimony feels like a drop in from another production. Yes, there are very fleeting sub-plots involving Merrill’s teenage marriage ambitions, and the children’s odd adventures in parenting, but it’s no substitute for meaningful drama.
However, whilst some jukebox musicals do manage to transcend the form to create genuinely great theatre, most exist as a story-time pop concert – and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately the sound-quality of The Osmonds: A New Musical just isn’t up to scratch. Muddily mixed, and dynamically lacking, the Osmond’s back catalogue has certainly sounded better. The two exceptions, ‘Puppy Love’, but more so ‘Paper Roses’ buck that trend, but they are rare moments of delight in a nigh-3 hour marathon.
It’s all a great pity, because it’s clear that cast & crew are trying their best with an I.P. which should guarantee a good time and bums on seats. The central cast are capable of the delivering the songs, that’s clear, but they are fighting, rather than being aided by technology, a problem further exacerbated by hiding the show’s live musicians off-stage. Given The Osmond’s are a famously instrumentally talented family, it’s truly inexplicable not to cast performers who can play as well as sing. Not only would it immediately boost the sonic qualities of the show, but add the irreplaceable thrill of live music to the on-stage action.
Yes, the super-fans are still going to enjoy themselves, but there’s just nothing here for anyone else. It’s just about O.K., and it has its moments of historical interest, but it would be tough to recommend it to anyone who can’t hum more than a few of The Osmond’s greatest hits.
(Featured Image Credit: Pamela Raith)
